Another day, another penny...

Well we have some positive things to report today. After weeks of constant battling with “manic depression” and “bipolar behavior” I finally had a breakthrough today. Guess that post yesterday was just me calling to existence this tremendous discovery. I am happy. No, I kid you not. I am not trying to be happy but I am really, really happy. I feel harmony and joy bubble from deep within me. I fee; abundant and I feel like I have everything I have ever wished for in this world and I do, actually.

Yes, she is out in her full glory and no, there ain’t no stopping us now. I feel the music from my core and I am smiling again. I AM SMILING! Did you hear that? I thought I had lost it, my smile but I saw her today out in her full radiance. I stood in front of a mirror and curiously studied her. She had a glint in her eye and a ghost of a smile playing on her lips. My eyes widened as I admired her beauty. I had seen her before but I had forgotten how beautiful she is. All those weeks spent in isolation and in “Castle De Ife” had lent crust to my eyes and I could not see. I simply could not and it made me so, so sad. That is why I was fighting. She was not visible, I had lost her and I did not know how to cope by myself but she is out, I just know it. For the first time for a ling time I now feel peaceful. I feel real, genuine peace and my God it feels good! I am not free to concentrate on my wants. Nothing is stopping me now; there isn’t one negative vibe that has a place in my heart right now. The mind ceases to exist; the heart is not persistent with its desires as they take precedence.

Whereas my steps where faltered at first, now I only feel solid assurance. I trust her. Everything I do now I depend on her to guide me and she has taken control. She is confident and strong, real and dependable. She is not afraid; she is my inner warrior. She stands strong and nothing fazes her. The timid, lacking in confidence, sad Abby is gone. I am a whole lot of woman now. I am already seeing the fruits of my reclaimed freedom. I am so happy, I am so grateful, everything is going right for me, I feel like I have everything I have ever wanted and I am so full of love that I feel like I will blow over. I am not afraid to show it either nor am I ashamed. I rise, I rise, I rise…